


family ties

by hotnuggetz



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Force Awakens - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Luke is Rey's father, Multi, Poly Relationship, Speculation, Spoilers, father-daughter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:47:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5525912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotnuggetz/pseuds/hotnuggetz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Ep. 7, Rey sets out to find Luke Skywalker, a man she thought was pure myth only days ago. But the man she finds there instead is much more than she bargained for.</p><p> (contains spoilers and personal speculation)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. new beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> So upon seeing Ep. 7 I fell in love with Rey. (And the idea of a Rey / Finn / Poe relationship) and decided to write my own fic. Admittedly I'm trash for the idea that Rey is Luke's daughter even though I know some don't agree. The fanfic section for this idea is limited so I thought I'd add my own. 
> 
> I'm admittedly new to the SW fandom so I hope with all my heart that I did its characters and plots (referencing them etc) justice and didn't mess it up. 
> 
> I edited this thing like six times. There are probably still mistakes. 
> 
> Anywho! Let me know what you think.

She's standing there, breath coming out in small puffs. She's trying to be brave, strong, confident. She knows who she stands before, she understands. She wants to appear better than she believes she is. Worthy. Somehow, proving she is worthy is the only thing she can focus on. He turns, slow motion of course, every action drawn. His eyes meet hers and it's like that moment makes her crumble and she doesn't know why. It's as if the world has stopped completely now. Went from a slow crawl to a grinding halt. 

"Reya?" 

She freezes. "Rey." She corrects, not knowing exactly how her voice is working at a time like this. "Is this some Force thing? How you knew my name?" Her voice is weak. He is silent. She pushes the lightsaber out. Ever since the fight with Kylo Ren, things have been off. He still doesn't speak, gaping. 

"Rey." He repeats. "Rey Skywalker." 

Her head feels dizzy then, not physically, but emotionally. As if a million insects are inside her head at once. 

"Pardon?" Is all she can say. 

"Its you." 

"I-I don't know what you mean. I am Rey, General Leia sent me. We recovered a map to your whereabouts and I was tasked with coming to get you because your - " She pauses, looking at the weapon in her hand. " - responds to me. Apparently, I have the Force."

"Yes, yes you do." 

"Come back with me, please. We are in danger. Solo is-"

"Dead."

"Yes, and Kylo Ren grows stronger with Snoke's help." 

"Okay." He says weakly. She thrusts the lightsaber out once more. "No, no, it's yours... It's yours now."

 

The ride back is silent. R2 and Chewie say their hellos to Luke and Rey takes this time to recover. Some how meeting this man has taken much out of her. Has made her heart heavy and she doesn't know why. She seeks her partners, Finn and Poe. She seeks to be in the warmth of their presence again. Perhaps over a warm drink, a nice meal, a ride in Poe's ship. Something to deter away from the gnawing feeling in her chest. Rey doesn't like this feeling, something quickly addressed inside the young scavenger's head. It feels like it did when she was left behind by her parents.

She stays away from Luke.  
She somehow knows they both need the space. 

 

"What he's like?" Finn is an excitable mess when she returns. Poe is more the quiet type - listening, always listening.

"Intense." 

She likes the way Poe's fingers trail against her hand as they sit there. Dinner spread across the thin sheet in front of them. Their small droid, watching the sky. 

"And you?" Poe asks. No explanation needed. He shoots Finn a look, who gets the hint and plops down. 

"I'm being too enthusiastic aren't I?" Poe nods. Smiling crookedly at the young boy. 

"Maybe a little babe."

"Sorry Rey." He whispers, leaning closer and pressing a kiss to her head. Finn had quickly learned and made use of all the normal gestures of affection and loved each one differently. 

"It's no problem Finn." She gives him a weary smile. They're all playing with each other's hands by now. Like a small circle of gentle touches. "I know that he's this.. Big deal. I-I can't lie and say it didn't freak me out, being that close to him. I've been freaked out since his lightsaber responded to me. I-I just, it's weird."

"And it's normal," Poe offers. 

"You've been through a lot, we all have." Finn adds. 

No more is said. No more is needed to be said between the three for now. They just rest there. Tangled together. Rey's head in Poe's lap, Poe's head on Finn's stomach, Rey playing with one of Finn's hands. It's peaceful.

And Rey feels safe.  
For now. 

 

She doesn't want to overhear it. Not at all. The very heated argument between brother and sister. She had wanted to ask General a question but now instead she finds herself stuck against the wall. She's about to go, about to allot them the privacy they deserve but she can't, she seems too drawn, like a magnet to their conversation. 

"And what do I tell her? Huh?"

"I don't know Luke, the truth perhaps?"

"Leia, what makes you think she wants it?"

"Perhaps the girl who never knew her family." 

"For good reason!"

"Luke! She's a young girl, there is no good reason!"

"I couldn't care for her, let's be realistic. Maria was killed. Snoke, he wants me. They want to kill me. To them, I'm the last Jedi. The last person who stops them from getting what they want. You know how much power she has, how the Force is in her in such a way. You really think they'd stop, hesitate... I did what I had to, to keep her safe!"

"Whatever eases your guilt."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You left a little girl without family, something that's obviously affected her and rightly so!"

"I'm not even sure if she'd want me. I let it slip when I first saw her. Holding out my lightsaber. I called her by her birth name. She looked so scared and confused. I was so confused. I basically confessed to her and I thought that she'd come to me. Ask... But nothing."

"Rey - "

She doesn't hear the rest of what the General says. She knew it was her, that they were speaking about. She knew but as if in some daze, some shocked stupor, she wouldn't allow herself to believe it. Until now. Now there was no doubt. They meant her. 

"Try-"

And then she runs. 

 

Runs straight to Poe. Finn is in psychical recovery and she won't want to disturb him. Although she knows that it wouldn't bother him in the least. Poe looks up from BB8 and instantly concern clouds his attractive features. "Rey?" He asks. 

She's hiding in his arms. Sobbing. An uncontrollable mess of mixed emotions. She doesn't know what to feel. How to feel. She just feels so overwhelmed, so scared, so hurt and so angry. And it's the anger that scares her, it's the anger that drives her to become an incoherent mess for an hour. 

She hates the anger. 

So she lets Poe calm her. Let's him cuddle her, trace her hands and arms with steady and soothing fingers. Finn joins them later. And with both of them, here like this, she almost forgets about the pain that clouds her head. 

But it'll come back, it always does. 

 

It's been days. Poe and Finn have been subtly watching over her. Sometimes when she asks to be alone, their late night talks will revolve around their worry for her. Other nights, there isn't much speaking to begin with. But that's okay, they both know Rey would be happy, delighted even, to know that they still were having some fun. 

Even if she was sinking lower and lower. 

Finally she cracks.

She can't take it. Not anymore. She storms past the others, past her two boyfriends even and to his small quarters. 

And she yells. 

"How dare you!"

He doesn't looked all that startled and she hates it. 

"Please, I understand your anger-"

"Do you?" She snaps, unable to stop. There is a small crowd gathered around. She doesn't care. She's too focused on him. "I was alone! My entire life! Since I could function! Living off portions and getting scrapes of metal! I don't think you do!"

"Fine, maybe, maybe I don't understand. Maybe I wish to. Just please let me explain, please let me try to understand."

"I was so alone! And you, you and your Force and your Jedi and your bullshit! You're to blame for this!"

"I know."

"I hate you. That day on the mountain. I was confused at first. I kept hoping you were not all there in the head. But I felt it, like a heavy weight. And you've been wondering around, knowing! You've known! And what? You didn't think I was worth it?"

"Oh god no, of course you are. I just... There are reasons."

"Like what?" 

It's a sneer. General, along with Chewie, R2 and 3-CPO are behind him now. Watching. She feels like cheap entertainment and it makes her feels worse. 

"I'm not, I can't-"

"Of course you can't!" 

She unhooks the god forsaken lightsaber and throws it. At his feet in one pure action of anger, one defiant gesture. As if to say she doesn't care. 

She does care. 

She turns her back. He speaks then. "Reya, please-"

"It's Rey!"

Then she's gone. 

 

She refuses to come out. Even for Poe and Finn. Finally there is a firmer knock on her door and she sees the general there. 

She looks worried. "I guess I could call you aunt now." She mutters. 

"I guess so. I mean I won't mind." The general, her aunt, sits beside her then. "But I understand that you may not be ready for that yet. That is fine of course."

"I don't understand."

"The Force is strong in our family, something that is wonderful and yet dangerous. Luke, your father-"

"Don't."

"Luke," Her voice breaks a little. Sad. Something that hurts Rey, even if she won't admit to it. "Is a very wanted man. And very stubborn. Always playing heroics. After you mom died, it was hard and he was scared. Scared of messing up. Scared of loosing you."

"Still isn't fair."

"I know."

"My mother?"

"A wonderful woman, of course. A match for Luke. He'd be the first to admit that she was ten times better than him in every way. Smart, funny, sweet, loving and kind. But also strong and confident and brave. A strong Jedi."

"She was a Jedi?"

"Yes. She had the Force inside of her. Luke did not train her per say. Not in the way a master would. But he taught her, they worked together. They a Force Bond. Very powerful. When he lost her..."

"I don't want to know him."

"Again, I understand."

"Why have you come then, if not to convince me otherwise?"

"I am your aunt. I would like to know you Rey. If that is alright with you of course. I do although hope that you and Luke will one day speak."

 

 

Poe and Finn don't speak about Luke. Something Rey is happy for. Sometimes she'll rant a little and they'll let her. They're always there no matter what. Something she's grateful beyond belief for. They eat dinner, learn new things, talk, spend nights tangled and breathing heavily up in each other. 

It's one of these three way make out sessions that creates the mess in the first place. 

Rey doesn't even have to hear him clear his throat, she jumps up. Meeting his eyes. "What?" She snaps. 

"What is this?"

The two boys brace themselves. 

"A moment that you clearly weren't invited to." She says, not bothering to lower her voice to a bitter mumble. 

"So this is how you spend your time, avoiding your family and making out with boys?" 

"Boyfriends."

Luke's mouth drops. "Boyfriends?"

"Yes. And I would ask if you have a problem-"

"Of course I have a problem. You're young and I barely know-" She folds her arms, lets out a long scoff. 

"I'm not young, I grew up and I did it without you. So, what do you want?"

He looks hurt. Good, she thinks. He seems to battle with whether to let it go or not.

"Finn."

"What?"

"You aunt told me to fetch Finn. Someone told me that he went with you in this direction." 

And it hurts Luke when she lets the word aunt go. Not a correction, an okay feeling. Even a feeling of connection when said. He wants to try. 

Rey grips Finn's hand. "What do you want with Finn?"

"The boy has the Force. I'm going to train him to become a Jedi."

 

 

After much fighting, Rey decides that it's not fair to hold Finn back. She loves Finn, as much as she loves Poe. It's not fair to keep him from a chance at something wonderful, a new chance. She just hates it. Hates that it's her - that it's Luke that has to train him.

She's laying with Poe, who sighs. "What?" She asks, knowing that sigh from anywhere. 

"Rey, I know you're hurt, I understand why as well. I just hate that you're in so much pain and I can't help."

"You do help. Both of you. BB8 and my aunt."

"You call her you aunt."

"Because I like her. I trust her."

"Luke, besides what's in the past, has not make an action to hurt you. He just wants to know you."

"I don't care. He left. He doesn't deserve it."

"Finn told me a while ago that you wanted so desperately to go back to your planet. Jakku. You said it was to find your family, to wait. You're telling me that if you had and they had come back, that you would have acted like this?"

She shifts. She know he's right. He's Poe after all. She would have been hurt and angry but she would have tried. She sighs, cuddling deeper into him. 

She doesn't know why. It bothers her. She doesn't know why she won't try. She tries with her aunt. 

Here she is presented with what she's wanted all her life and she's angry and distant and snappy. Even if not to have a relationship with Luke, then to get some answers. 

She just can't. 

"He's supposed to one of the most powerful men alive and he couldn't have tried." She whispers. "That's why I'm scared." Poe kisses her, doesn't press any longer. Just cuddles and kisses and makes her feel loved. 

But his wise words linger. Even if Rey wishes they wouldn't. 

 

 

When she goes to Luke the second time, she feels small. Smaller than a grain of sand. Like a scolded teenager, like an animal with its tail between its legs. 

He looks up. "Reya."

She flinches. "Rey."

He sighs. "Rey, it's nice to see you. Please sit." He moves stuff away for her. "What can I do for you? Anything. I know my sister had been answering a lot of questions-"

"Was I not good enough?"

It's weak, broken, quiet. He stops. As if his chest got ripped open. "No, I wasn't good enough." He pauses. "I wanted to go back. Everyday. I swear to you. But then, then... God I could picture it. All the ways I could loose you-"

"You could have trained me!"

"Trained you like I trained Ben?" She flinches. 

"I'm not Ben." She hisses. 

"I know you're not. You have so much light in you. I just failed him and failing you would have been worse. I'm sorry."

She looks at him. "I don't forgive you. Poe just told me that if you were anyone else, if you had come and saved me on that planet... I would be trying. He's right. He always is. I deserve a chance to know you. I just.. Slowly. And don't think this means I forgive you."

"I understand."

 

They talk. A lot. Every second day. Sometimes they'll chat for hours and other times (when Rey is feeling a little more withdrawn) not as much. 

She finds he's very open. Even about the things he seems to hesitate on. He's open. She's thankful. And thus in return, she is open too. Even when it's hard. 

He tries to understand and more than she cares to admit, she finds he does an okay job of doing so. 

He calls her Rey. It's hard but she's thankful. At first she'd have to correct him but now it's flowing more naturally. He explained that her mother picked the name. And slowly she finds herself turning her birth name over in her head, maybe even liking it. 

Luke meets the boys. He acts fatherly of course. But only in the warmest of ways. She only tells Poe and Finn this, but she likes it. The way he seems protective over her. 

He's growing on her. 

She's still timid. But less so. 

Soon she finds that she likes her small make shift family. The three droids, her two boyfriends, Chewie, her aunt and her father.  
Sometimes she forgets of all of the pain. Other times less so. Although, everyone seems to understand. 

 

No matter how close she becomes to Luke, she still doesn't call him father. 

 

Until it tumbles out. In a heated argument between the two. And even with all of her ugly emotions, it's rare that she fights with him. 

"You're young-"

"Stop calling me young! You've seen what I can do! You know how I fended on my own! I am not young!"

"Yes you are!"

She shakes her head. Bitterly adding: "I'm not a child."

"Yes you are." His voice is softer, less of the yell it had been. But it's still hard. "You're my child."

"I want to know how she died!"

"I'm not ready to tell you!"

"Of course you're not! It's probably you that got her killed! That's why! You can't own up to the fact that you ripped my mother away from me and then you tore me away from any remaining family!" 

"And I can't stop apologizing for that! I am trying so hard to give you all the answers you seek, to take things slow. Why can't you allow me the same? Your mother's death wasn't easy."

"I wouldn't know. I never knew her." The room is silent. "You tell me that I hold back from you and yet there is something about you that holds back from me."

He's quiet. That unnerving quiet that she hates. "There are things about me, pieces of myself I do not wish for you to see."

"And yet you demand to see all of me?"

"You're my daughter! It is different!"

"And your my father!" 

She stops. He stops. Everything just stops. She covers her mouth.

She turns and bolts. 

 

She goes to Leia this time. Knocking on her door softly. Her aunt turns, smiling. Although when she sees how upset the young girl is she instantly ushers her in. 

"May I ask what's going on?" She says after some time with Rey just sitting with her, head rested against her shoulder. 

"We fought."

"I know."

"Of course you know." She sucks in a breath. "I called him my father. Which I know he is. I know... I just, I've just never said it."

"And..."

"And what?"

"Well, despite the context it was in. How did it feel?" She meets her aunts eyes. 

"I'm scared."

"And that's not something to be ashamed of. Of course you're scared. My brother is too. But do not let fear ruin things for you. This is a chance. A chance I know you both seek. So take it. I'm not saying it's going to be easy or that you won't get upset. He's very stubborn after all. But it's worth it."

"Thank you aunt Leia."

"Anything my dear."

 

He comes to her this time. "I'm sorry." She looks up. "I know you're not a kid or young. I just wish you still were sometimes." She nods. And gestures for him to come over. He's surprised by the invite. 

"I sorry I blame you sometimes. I know it isn't as black and white." He's quiet. "I guess it's sometimes easier."

"I presume it is too." He's quiet. 

"I'm going to call you dad okay?" He's surprised again. "I want to." She fiddles with her fingers nervously. "If that's okay."

"I'd be very happy if you did."

"Okay then it's settled... Dad." 

A faint grin touches both of their lips. She slowly rests her head against his shoulder, feeling an arm wrap slowly around her. 

"Then it's settled, daughter."


	2. the truth isn't easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Rey becomes more accustomed to her new way of life, she begins to wonder more about her past. Although, the answers she seeks aren't easy to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so when I posted the first chapter, I didn't expect such a nice response. But all the kudos have been wonderful, so thanks!
> 
> So I've decided to try writing another chapter, I have an idea of where I want this to go... It's not going to be a very long story. Just a few chapters but...
> 
> This next chapter is shorter, but hopefully you guys the read it will like it. 
> 
> Again, it's only lightly edited, sorry for mistakes.

Things have gotten better for Rey, well almost. The only thing she doesn't quite like is the fact that she's always worried they'll be under attack. Other than that, her life is good. 

It feels solid, secure (expect for the obvious threats) and she must admit to herself that it feels nice. To have a family, to have Finn and Poe, to not be waiting on that planet. 

Sure, she's not quite over the years of isolation that she was put through. Sometimes the memories make her just as upset as she first was but she's trying really hard to move on. To talk it through, forgive and move on to better things. 

Sure there are unknown variables, something she dislikes, but life can't be perfect. She knows this. So she's thankful for what she has, she knows it's the way to go. 

But even the thankful have their days and this past week Rey has had her fair share of bad feelings. It starts with a harmless conversation. She's curled up with Finn and Poe (one of her favourite things to be). She's squashed between them like normal, letting their warmth comfort her. Finn and Poe are playing with each other's hands overtop of her head as per usual. They like it like this. 

"How is training going?" Poe asks Finn. 

"It's odd. The whole concept is odd and by odd I don't really mean it in a bad way. The Force, using that energy that flows through you... It feels good. Luke is a wonderful teacher, he's patient and kind." He stops. "Rey?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to train with your father?" The question catches her off guard. Sure Rey has thought about it. She has the Force within her. She saw that first hand with Kylo Ren. She's just...

"I don't think so."

She doesn't want to, that's the better answer. Although the Force has its uses and she knows she comes from a family with a powerful connection to it - she doesn't want it. It seems... Dangerous. 

All she can picture when she thinks of the Force is Ben killing Han. Shoving his lightsaber through his father's heart and letting him fall. 

She doesn't want the Force. Not if becoming a monster like that is a risk. 

She thinks of Finn's recovery. How Ben caused that too, the need for recovery in the first place. 

Maybe it's not fair to judge this "Force" by one obviously twisted person. You mean your cousin, she thinks. She's seen the good it can do, or rather has heard of the good it can do. Her father is a prime example. 

She just doesn't trust herself. 

"Rey?" Poe is nudging her. "Babe you spaced out." She looks up at him. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, sorry." She whispers. 

"I'm sorry if I brought up a difficult subject." Finn murmurs to her. She shakes her head. 

"No it's fine Finn. It's a valid question of course. I'm sure my father wants me train with him. I just don't think I can."

"Why?"

"Because I'm scared." She closes her eyes and hides between the two boys. Her boys. 

"Maybe you should speak to him about those fears. Even just because he's your father." Poe gives his boyfriend a slight nudge, unnoticed by his girlfriend. He meets Finn's eyes and nods slightly. As if to say, 'back me up'.

"Yeah," Finn says. "He's great. He always answers my questions and concerns. And I mean he loves you. He's obviously going to try to help."

Rey sighs. "Fine you two, I'll speak to him about it. Now can we just relax? I want to sleep here with you two. Without any more worries okay?"

 

She does go to her father. It takes her time and the ability to work up the guts to talk to him. She's scared to say the least. I mean what if he doesn't agree?

He's a Jedi. Her father obviously holds the whole life-style in high regard. What if her lack of shared respect for the idea makes her dad upset?

They just got to a good place. Hell, they just found each other even! Rey doesn't want to risk this, any of this. 

"Rey," He doesn't even have to look back. It annoyed her at first. His unseen skill set. Sensing her presence. "What can I do for you?" R2 beeps out a hello from where Luke cleans the droid. 

"May we talk?"

"Always."

She's still pivoting in his doorway, afraid. He turns to her, face twisting with concern. "I can feel your unease, is something the matter? I want to help if I can."

"You're training Finn, and I know that.. I know that I have the Force as well and I was wondering if that meant you were going to want to train me as well."

"I would prefer to but I'm getting the sense that it's not something you want." She gulps. "Am I correct in guessing so?"

"Maybe." She sits down next to R2 who beeps at her again, sliding up next to her. "I don't know." He sits down next to her. "I'm confused and conflicted..."

"I can tell. Tell me why. I know there must be something, a reason."

"My fight with Kylo Ren. I mean, I guess you could say all the events of those few days put together even. I-I manipulated a guard, I struck down a person, I watched Han get murdered. All because of this 'Force'. I don't like what I see father, I don't want to have this in me."

"I hate to say it but you can't remove it from you. It's apart of you. It flows through you and every-"

"Living thing." She whispers. "I know. I just, as much as I want to fight and help - I don't want to do it that way."

"It seems then you have your answer."

"But being a Jedi, training, it seems to mean a lot to you. I don't want to upset you."

"You're not going to. Your aunt has the Force inside of her, and chooses not to use it in the same fashion I do. Yet God knows what any of us would do without her." Rey lets a faint smile touch her lips. "I'm not mad and I know your mother wouldn't be either."

She gives him a weak smile. "Thanks." She gets up. 

"Although if you change your mind at any point, I'd be honoured to teach you."

 

She's sitting in the Falcon. A place that soon began to feel like home. She may not have known Han for that long but what she did know of him, she admired. It makes her wish that she had known more. 

She stays out here some nights, hiding away, tinkering, it clears her mind. As much as possible. There's always something weighing down on her. Keeping her thoughts awake and busy. 

It didn't even resinate at first, the sentence about her mother but upon later thought, it's something she can't shake. Her mother, a woman she never knew... She gulps. She wish she had known her. 

It's not that her father won't tell her anything about her mother, he tells her lots. Small details, stories of the two. How excited her mother was to know that she was going to have a little girl. 

He just doesn't tell her what she really wants to know. He knows it, she knows it and sometimes she'll try but he always shuts her down. It's too hard, he'll say, and she'll sigh and leave it alone. She wants to give him time and space but that doesn't make not knowing any less of a task. 

How she died. How all these awful things came to pass. She wants to know but he seems quite focused on not telling her. It upsets Rey. 

She decides it's better to ask her aunt. Whose currently working away on a plan to help bring some identified rebels to safety. 

"Aunt Leia?"

"Yes?"

"I have an odd question."

"I've learned that there are no such things." Rey smiles a little. 

She loves her aunt, dearly. She's the first female figure she's ever really known and she's grateful for that. 

"Do you have a picture of my mother?" She stops. For a second Rey worries that she said something wrong. That she's upset her aunt.

Her aunt just frowns a little. "I think I may have saved a couple. We've had a lot of bases, I've told you this, but usually we manage to save a few things even when under attack." 

She turns around, searching for something and coming up with a small box. She ruffles through it and comes out with a torn picture. She hands it to Rey, who takes it gingerly. 

As if she'll break it upon touch. 

She stares down at it. She sees her father; whose much younger she notices and a woman. They're against nice scenery. Smiling. 

"It was a good period in our history, there was a lot more freedom. It was between the time of the fall of the Empire and the rise of the New Order."

"She's beautiful."

"Something she passed onto you."

Rey blushes at this. 

"How did she die? Dad won't tell me. Not at all. I want to know. I know it won't be easy-"

"Rey, that's... It's Luke's right to tell you. Not mine. I'm sorry."

She sighs, she was expecting such a reply. She stares at the floor, suddenly nervous and embarrassed. "He won't tell me."

"Give him time. It was a horrible day for Luke. I'm sure he'll tell you." Her aunt looks saddened by the thought. "It was a hard day for all of us."

 

"Reya." She flinches. She had found out that her father had a habit of using her full name when he was upset. 

"Yes dad?"

"Your aunt spoke to me. Apparently you went asking about your mom." She freezes. This was not something she expected. For her aunt to speak to her father about it. "Well?" She turns slowly, rubbing her neck. 

"Yes I did."

"I have told you before, I will tell you when I am ready."

"But father-"

"End of subject-"

"Please. I have to know. She was my mother. I know it's hard and I've been trying to be patient but I can't move on if I don't know."

"You don't want this answer."

"I do!"

"It'll bring you so much pain and anger. I know it will. I don't want that for you. Please, drop it for now. Until this is all over. Then I will tell you."

"Tell me now. I swear to you that whatever I feel I will not allow it to cloud my judgement." He looks away. "I can't heal if I don't know."

"And if I tell you, you will heal from one pain only to be met with others. And not only pain but other feelings as well. Please, I ask you to drop it. I will tell you when the time is right." 

"Fine." She whispers, heart sinking with hurt. She feels heartbroken that her father doesn't seem to trust her with her own emotions. "No more questions, I get it, she's only my mother.. Right?"

She can't help but be a little bitter about the whole thing. "Rey..." His voice has softened, face twisting into hurt. 

"I have dinner planned with Poe, I'll see you later."

 

All through dinner she can't focus. It's just the two of them. They haven't gotten some alone time in a while. Although they're a relationship of three, they all like some alone time with each other. Poe gets lots with Finn when they have to discuss battle plans and Finn gets tons with Rey well hanging around Luke. So it's just the two of them - and BB8 of course. 

Rey isn't speaking and it worries Poe. How she seems to lost in thought. Usually she isn't as quiet. After some debating, he decides to ask about it.

"You seem out of it. Did something happen?"

"My dad is keeping things from me. I don't like it." She whispers, letting herself fall back into his safe arms. He takes a moment. "I want to know how she died Poe."

"Your mother?" Rey only nods. "And he won't tell you?"

"No-one that was around will." 

"I was aroun-" He stops upon seeing the obvious shift in her body language. She moves to make direct eye contact with him, mouth frowning. 

"You were there?"

"Well sorta. I was - but I was small. I've just come to piece that day together as I've gotten older-"

"So you know?"

He regrets opening his mouth, he knows his girlfriend is stubborn and strong-willed. She won't stop until he tells her. Poe may be strong in many senses of the word but he knows that he usually caves to his girlfriend right away - no special Force abilities needed. 

"Yes." He finally whispers. "But Rey-"

"How-"

"Rey, if your father isn't telling you it's probably for good reason." She scoffs, taking his face in her hands. The touch is bringing him undone already. "Rey, I don't want to show your father or aunt any disrespect-"

"Please Poe."

He closes his eyes. The pain in her voice, the way in which it cracks, it hurts him. He doesn't want her to feel such a thing, such hurt and confusion. He sighs, giving way. "Fine. It - your father and Han were out. Getting a small group of trusted allies. From what I understand before he left he got in an argument with Ben. He said the space would give them both time to clear their heads. No such thing happened. Ben got angry, real angry. He-he-" He pauses. "Went after you. Your mother stopped him. The whole camp was - was scared and... He struck your mother down. I guess when Luke got back you were hidden in the forest, under leaves. Your mother was no where. Luke, Luke presumed she was dead. He couldn't feel her through the Force. He left with you... Never came back. I guess he dropped you off and thus isolated himself." 

Rey feels her insides turn. Ben. Ben did this? All of this happened when he turned against her father. He fought with her mother, he struck her down. 

Then she feels anger but she pushes it down and curls up with Poe. "Rey, I-"

"Thank you, for telling me the truth." She whispers. "Now can you please hold me, remind me that I'm not alone."

He kisses her head. "Your not alone Rey. You're never going to be alone again. I swear it." 

 

She goes to her father. Over the last day or so, since her date with Poe, she has been mauling over her emotions. 

They're eating her alive. 

This was Ben's fault. Stupid Kylo Ren, a twisted monster of a man. He had killed her mother, he had torn her family apart, he was to blame for all of the pain she had felt. 

She blamed him. 

She could feel it in herself, the anger. The burning, dangerous, out of control anger. She should have killed him! She should have ended his pathetic life well she had the chance! He ruined hers! She would have been even! 

Her father can sense her distress when she comes knocking, and it hurts him deeply. Before he can ask all she says is: "Train me." 

He wasn't expecting this. He knits his eyebrows together. "What caused this sudden change of heart?"

She knows she can't tell her father the truth, that she wants to grow stronger, that she wants to strike down the man that killed her mother. 

So she lies. "Mother was a Jedi. I know it's sounds odd but I-I feel as if perhaps it's the only piece I have of her. I want to learn dad, train."

He frowns. "I can sense a much deeper conflict within you-"

"Can you stop reading me like a book? I hate it. I hate it when you sense me at doors or sense what I'm feeling. Of course I'm conflicted, I'm scared I'll become like Ben father but.. This is the only thing I know of her. Please."

He takes a second. "I can sense anger." She frowns, looking away. "Anger is a gateway to the dark side."

"Just the other day you told me that you see so much light within me, are you now saying I am as dark as Ben."

He shakes his head. "No, I am not. I see just as much light in you as I first did. You are nothing like Ben. But you feel anger, an emotion that when allowed to control you and the choices you make, can become dangerous. I want to train you, yes. But right now, I feel as if you're not ready-"

She scoffs. "I am not ready for anything in your eyes then father." She looks away. "You know what, perhaps this whole attempt was useless. It's obvious that you don't trust me." 

Before he can argue, she turns and goes. Running straight into the Falcon. If he is not willing to train her himself, she will do it, she will learn. And she will take down her cousin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hopefully that didn't suck. I'm thinking there will be maybe two or three more chapters, as I said I've got a plan. (Kinda)
> 
> I always love to hear what you guys think. So let me know.


	3. anger & angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon feeling like her father doesn't trust her, Rey begins training herself, becoming withdrawn and distant. Something that proves incredibly dangerous and perhaps even fatal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter three. Again thank you for all the kudos / views. It puts a smile to my face. As always this is only lightly edited and I apologize for mistakes. 
> 
> Because I'm just a sucker for some good angst this chapter has more. I figure Rey (seems to me at least) to be stubborn as well as strong willed. So here's my take on some father-daughter angst. 
> 
> Anyways, here's chapter three. Enjoy.

Family Ties ; Chapter 3

 

She does train herself, well sorta, but that's besides the point. She's training herself and not failing miserably, that's the point. Sure it'd be easier with help, with a master, but it's obvious that her father isn't going to offer her any. So, she's out of options. 

She's picky about the skill sets she wants to enhance. She dislikes the idea of using her abilities to make people do things or see inside their heads. Even if she did want to do so, she respects everyone around camp to not do that to them. 

So she works on moving things and focusing on the Force itself. For the most part - she's kicking ass at it. Not to say that kicking ass was or is in anyway simple or easy. 

The first time she managed to focus on something and move it, it had been hard. Lots of squinting and groaning at empty air had come before hand but she had done it! She almost ran to tell her boyfriends but didn't. 

It's not that she doesn't trust Finn and Poe. She does, with her life (literally they had saved her more than once), she just can't. Finn is close to Luke and Poe close to Leia. It's too... Risky. 

She knew how they would react to this. So she had to keep it hush-hush. Which meant that she did most of her business on the Falcon. Training with her staff instead of a lightsaber 

And when she isn't 'training', she's steeling herself. She first began to do so when she couldn't lift anything. She recalled to the first two times she had used the Force. She had been calm. So she knew that fighting Kylo Ren would have to be the same. 

Not to say that her ability to calm herself down meant that her anger had disappeared or been dealt with, it hadn't. She still felt angry and mad. 

Something that despite her wishes, shone through her actions. Everyone she cared about could tell, her father, her aunt, Poe and Finn. They could all tell. Rey was withdrawn, moody and sullen most of the time and it hurt them all.

She didn't care. She cared about piecing the whole thing together and getting justice. She knew it was vengeance, deep down, but she didn't refer to it as such. What she was doing was fine, good, normal even, right?

So she finds bits and pieces, thinks of all the other possibilities there are and most of all - she learns about Ben. She learns and thinks and calculates. She has to know her cousin inside out. 

This goes on, all of it until her aunt finally has the guts to approach the young girl about it. She climbs aboard the Falcon (she's only been here one other time since Han passed away, it's been too hard). 

"Rey?"

She hears something drop and footsteps. The young girl appears, sweat dripping from her forehead. "Yes aunt Leia?"

"Everything alright?"

"Yes, why do you ask?" Her aunt doesn't miss the way the her niece seems on edge. Although, she's careful about how to call her out on such a thing.

"You're covered in sweat."

"Workin' or rather just looking at the engines and stuff. Is something wrong?"

"We're worried about you, all of us." She notices how Rey stiffens. How she becomes guarded and it pains her. "You've been distant and sullen. What has gotten you so upset?"

"Nothing." Rey turns her back, fearful that her face will give away her true emotions. 

"Is it your recent fight with Luke?" Rey sighs, she knew that one was coming. 

"No." Her voice is a little shaky though. "He made a choice that he thinks is for the better, I may not agree but it's obvious that he's not going to thrilled if I disrespect it."

"Luke is stubborn and sometimes stern. The Jedi lifestyle, or should I say the old teachings, before even the Empire, were strict. Thus both Luke and your mother have that quality. I wouldn't take it personally."

"How am I supposed to not take it personally? My father doesn't trust me with the truth and he doesn't trust me with the Force." 

Her aunt is silent for a while. "I know that he's being hard-headed right now but it only comes from a place of caring. He wants what's best. He is new to this, to being a father-"

"Well it isn't my fault that he's new to it." Rey whispers. "I want to finish tinkering with a part before dinner. Can I - ?" Her aunt sighs but nods. "Thank you aunt Leia."

Then she disappears from where she came. Only to surface for a brief dinner before hiding away again. 

 

Poe and Finn take her for date night. They're hoping it will cheer her up. They include all the things she likes. A good warm meal and cake for dinner. All by one of the lakes (in which it is - for the most part - safe to swim in). 

She's smiling, not a lot but the faint grin is there. They take this as progress. "Thank you." She whispers well situated between the two boys. She means it, truly. She had forgotten what it felt like to be with them in such ways. 

She forgot, in all her hurt, that they aren't the ones she's upset with. It's this sudden realization, of just how much she misses her boyfriends, that leads her to land a quite passionate kiss to each one's mouth. 

They allow it, embrace it. They've missed the scavenger's touches just as much as she's missed theirs. And soon, they're deepening it. Going for long amounts of time with breaking it. 

It's messy, hasty and passionate. There's no room to think about how it must seem to everyone else. All that matters is that they get all of one another. 

Soon both guys are shirtless and Rey lets her hands roam their chests, feel their skin. She's felt them before but each time it's like she finds another small groove, another mark. She can't get enough. 

They can't get enough of her either. They marvel at her toned stomach, at the way her hair feels when it's down. 

They like this, being so close. Hands touching cheeks, lips touching lips, bodies pressed together. 

And perhaps they don't go as far as they could, that they agree, they want to save until later. They still go pretty far, until they're cuddled up together only in their undergarments, panting and feeling a sort of bliss that only comes from this sort of love. 

And Rey feels good again, mind taken momentarily off of everything else. 

 

Although that peace doesn't last long, of course it doesn't. Her father finds out. Of course he finds out. Not about the make out session either because that Rey can deal with. No, he finds out about her training. 

"Reya!" All the rocks drop at once, causing a very loud crash to ring throughout the Falcon. She gulps and turns. Her father is holding food. 

"Yes father?" She's trying to sound strong but her voice betrays her. 

"What are you doing?" He has set down the plate. "And I hope that your answer is not anywhere close to what I think you're doing." She's wary of his voice, of the way it sounds. She wonders what the best approach to this situation is, after all she's never been it. Gotten in trouble by a parent. All of this is foreign to her. 

"You won't train me." She says, jutting her chin out. "So I did it myself." The way he shifts, body letting some of the extra tension go, makes her think that maybe he's not as mad. 

Although she notices a sternness in his eyes that makes her feel uncomfortable. Sure Luke had been stern with her, sorta, but never like this. He never appeared like this, it makes her nervous. 

"Rey, it's not that I won't train you. It's that I need to know that you're not doing this out of anger." 

"I'm not." He raises an eyebrow. 

"I know that you know about your mother." She groans, throwing her hands up. "I asked Poe and Finn what's being going on with you, Poe at least was honest. I asked you to wait until it was the right time." 

She sees something, something unfamiliar in his expression, a look that she's never seen someone have in this sort of context. And although it's unfamiliar to her in this situation, she knows what it is. Disappointment. She knows the look, it's the look that stared back at her whenever she would glance at her own reflection before this whole thing had happened. 

She doesn't know what to say to him. Even though she's upset at him, for some reason she hates his disappointment. 

"And that was unfair." She tries. 

"It was fair because I knew then what would happen and I was right. You're angry and vengeful." She grits her teeth. "And no Jedi who lets those emotions lead them, is able to come back from what they bring."

"I don't care." She says harshly.

"That's not true. You do care. If you didn't care, if you didn't have light in you, you would be using your gifts for much worse. But you're worried you'll become a monster like Ben. And what caused Ben to be such a monster was anger." 

It hurts what he implies. He doesn't say it but he doesn't need to. 'If you do the same, then you'll become exactly who he is'. It makes her ache inside, did he truly have that little faith in her? 

"I will not. I will not be seduced by anger like he was. Just because I want to end his reign of terror doesn't mean that I'll be anything like him."

"There is good in him-"

"No there isn't! He killed mom, he killed Han-" 

"He struggles with the light-"

"I don't care if he struggles with it. He deserves this." She's outraged that her father is even thinking such things, little lone saying them. And a whole new group of ugly emotions swells inside of her, ones she won't dare let him see.

"He is your cousin and until we know for sure that he is lost, we will not give up. And as long as you let anger and hurt drive you, you will not train."

"You treat me like a young girl who cannot carry her own! It isn't fair! It isn't fair that you treat me as if I cannot handle the world around me."

"You're my daughter! What do expect Rey? For me to allow you become bitter and fuelled by rage? I am protecting you!"

"Oh really? Like you protected me for most of my life? Letting me lived, removed from everything! And you're doing it again! I can handle fighting him, I can handle-"

"Rey, this isn't about your strength. You are strong. Stronger with the Force then most. I'm afraid if you become to driven by this-"

"Yes, yes, the dark side! The Force! Jedi! Doing what's right, blah, blah, blah! I'm sorry father that I cannot have your resolve! That I cannot be well disciplined like you and mom! God!"

She feels it, like a burden. The legacy of who they were, who he is. Why can't she just - be like him! It'd be so much easier if she had his capability for such faith. Although, she would gladly point out that perhaps it was being dumped on Jakku that made her faith so rare in the first place.

He breaks the silence: "Please, trust me." She looks away, saying nothing. Chest heaving up and down. "I came to bring you food and to say that there is a briefing in a bit, please come."

"Fine."

 

In this briefing she finds that they've found a small New Order base that contains prisoners. Prisoners believed to be rebels. So the plan is - as Poe had said - to go save their people. 

 

She knew straying away from the main plan was bad. She was to stay with Finn but they had gotten spilt up and she figured this was a good chance to... To end this once and for all. 

She can feel him after all, and it's driving her crazy. So she looks for him. She knows it isn't wise, all she has is a blaster but she can't help it. 

She wants to end him. To punish him for tearing her family apart, for killing Han. She knows that deeper down there are more diluted reasons. Reasons that are worse, that are petty and that's why she doesn't admit them, won't address them as she seeks him out. 

He's waiting there for her. On one of the smaller bridges between passage ways. He doesn't have that ugly mask on either, which is surprising to her. The face of her cousin un-nerves her. 

She wonders if she knew him before that. There were five years in which he was not a monster, in which she was with her family. Did she call himcousin? Did he know her, play childish games with her even? Was there a time where he was just Ben and she just Reya? 

"Cousin. I knew it. I've been pondering since our last fight. The only way you have so much power is to be related to him." 

"You are no cousin of mine." 

His face twists for a moment, just a spilt second as if hurt but she ignores it. He doesn't deserve the sympathy. 

"Reya." He says, voice a deep drawl. "I remember when you were young. You would call me Benny. I would play with you. You seek answers of times before this. Of me. Of your mother-"

"Stay out of my head!" She yells. "And don't dare speak about her or I will-" She reaches for the blaster.

"Only a blaster? No lightsaber?" He taunts and she wants to wipe his smirk clean off. "Last time you tried that on me, you failed."

"My aim has gotten better."

"I can feel it," He still hasn't made an advance but she's ready for one, watching him like a hawk. "your anger. It's powerful. Hasn't your father taught you what anger will bring?"

"The Dark Side. I know. I don't care."

"So you're drawn to it then?" A gleam is in his eye. It angers her. "You're drawn to the anger Rey. Admit it. The Dark Side calls to you! Like it did to me. I knew we were alike-"

"I am nothing like you!" She shoots only to have it deflected. He laughs. "I do not want it! I hate this anger which resides in me. I will not succumb to it like you. I will not be a coward!" 

"I am no coward! The only cowards are those who have the Force and use it for good. They fear the power they posess. They're too weak to take it."

She aims again. To no avail. He comes closer. Taking his first swing. She dodges it and shoots. Again no luck. She tries again. He meets it with his lightsaber in a swift motion. This time sending it flying back at her. 

It hits her. In the arm. Not dead on but a graze, still painful. She crumples a little.

She calms herself. Deep breaths. Focus. It's this small bit of clarity that shows her how naive she was. How could be so stupid to seek him out? When she knew she was not ready? Without a proper weapon such as a lightsaber to challenge him with. 

He's standing above her. Lightsaber coming too close to her. "I will not kill you cousin, not yet. Snoke has told me otherwise. To wait and I will be rewarded but..." He inches closer. "Perhaps a scar? One to return the favour?" He gestures to where she had hit him in their previous fight. "A reminder to your father that I can hurt you."

She feels the heat against her face. And suddenly he's got her arm pinned down. "Don't-"

"Maybe a hand even. Isn't that the Skywalker curse?" He laughs bitterly. Suddenly she feels a searing pain as he glides the edge of the weapon up her arm. No force, just a fluid movement. 

It still causes her to scream out in pain. It radiates off the walls and causes him to chuckle darkly. He lets up, drawing the thing away fully. Rey won't look at the deep gash in her arm. 

"I'll kill you." She hisses. 

"I can't wait until that fight dear cousin, I can't wait. But how strong will you be with a father who will not train you? No training, no lightsaber. Just a fate that will be worse then the one you encountered today." 

Then he's gone. She allows herself to look down at her arm. She's bleeding heavily and her head is becoming light already. How will she make it o - suddenly she hears footsteps and running feet and soon his attractive features come before her face.

Finn. He scoops her up, allowing her to sling an arm around his muscular shoulder. "Rey, come on, stay with me love." 

"Did you free them?" She whispers weakly. 

"The others did, they're on the other ship. Luke and I were to busy looking for you but we were reassured that they've been found and led to safety."

She sighs in relief. At least something has gone right, she thinks. 

He turns a corner and through her blurry eyes she sees her father. When he sees her state, his face morphs into fear. "Let's get her back to the ship." He murmurs, taking the other half of her weight. 

Without her help, Chewie has a harder time getting the Falcon up and going but he manages too and soon their watching as the base is seen crippling to the ground behind them. 

Finn turns to treating her wounds. When her arm is treated slightly, bleeding stopped and crisis averted, Luke turns to her. 

She's still slightly hazy buts she's still in a good enough mind set to know what's coming. He's upset, she can feel it coming off of him. This time, unlike last, she can't even meet his eyes. Which probably hold the same disappointment as the last time they spoke.

"What were you thinking?" She opens her mouth but he stops her. "Don't answer that! I know what you were thinking! Taking on Ben by yourself with no weapon-"

"I had a blaster-"

He scoffs. "Instead of sticking by Finn and to the plan, you had us both scrambling to find you! Which meant that we were less help to our team! We lost people, people that if we were there to help, would be alive."

"I'm sorry father." She whispers. "I know it was stupid, I just wanted to..."

"Just be thankful that the team still managed to save those ten prisoners because trust me..." He sighs. "Past the fact that you running off hurt the mission and put everyone in danger, Ben hurt you! He could have killed you!"

"I know father."

"I just got you back!"

"I know father." Upon seeing her weak state, he sighs and decides that now is not the time to have this argument with his daughter. She's thankful for this, although she dreads the fact that she's still going to have to have this chat with him.

"Rest. We'll finish this when we get back."

Finn sits next to her as Luke goes to help Chewie. After awhile she can't stay awake, so she lets sleep rest upon her. Images of Kylo Ren haunting her vision. 

 

She wakes up in the infirmary. Poe is beside her, hands wrapped around the one attached to her good arm, and resting it against his lips. "How long have I been-"

"You just got back and hooked up. Not long at all." He whispers. "I was waiting and you and I - " 

She looks at the boy. "I'm sorry Poe." He looks down. It stings, she can feel that he's upset with her as well. 

"Just never do that again." He warns. He turns back. "I'll go get your father, he just went to brief Leia. The other ship is due any second and I have to go help."

"Alright." He leans down and kisses her cheek. 

"I'm happy you're alive Rey. Both of you." She gives me him a weak smile before watching him go. Seconds later she watches her father enter. She gulps.

Although she had gone to bed quickly and her state of mind had been hazy, she still remembers her father's emotions quite clearly. They haven't changed one bit either. 

He sits beside her. "I'm sorry." She whispers. She means it too. She may have been hurt and upset and annoyed by her father's choices but she never meant him any pain. 

More so she doesn't like upsetting her father. His disappointment the first time had been harsh but getting it twice in one day was worse. 

Past their difficulties (which were surprisingly quite a few given the fact that they've known each other for a month or two at most), she cherishes her father. His company and presence isn't something she takes for granted, nor wants to see lost. 

"We'll speak when you're better healed." 

"How bad-"

"Bad enough that you're going to have to adjust to it for a bit. Any strain on it is going to hurt. Although he didn't cut down to the bone, it's deep enough. He affected muscle."

She notices how much her head hurts and how drained she feels. She still tries to tell him what happened. 

"He said he didn't want to kill me. He said that Snoke had plans - could see the events... Said Jedi's are patient. He wants me to be dark like him. He just hurt me because I hurt him when we fought and because he wants you to know that he can hurt me."

"Rest Rey, you need the rest."

"Dad-"

"Master Luke! Master Luke!" It's 3-CPO. "Master Luke!" The droid comes rushing into the room. "It's-its-my goodness, my goodness! Master Luke!"

"3-CPO what is going on?"

Before the frantic droid can reply, two muscular pilots are carrying in a woman. She's frail and weak. Barely able to keep her own. She looks deprived of fluids and foods. 

"Maria?" Luke's voice sounds broken. Upon hearing her mother's name Rey begins to try her best to stay awake, but she feels weak and tried still. 

"Luke, oh Luke! It's you..." The woman replies. Rey is trying desperately to stay awake. "I knew you'd find me, save me... I was so worried something had happened. I could not feel you anymore but-"

Rey is out before she can hear anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few more chapters up my sleeve. Especially after the bullshit I just pulled. More angst to come. 
> 
> As always comments are really apperiated as I love some good feedback.

**Author's Note:**

> Might become a multi-chapter. Don't know where I'd go with it, etc.


End file.
